[ High School and Self-Education Board ]
Posted by StaceyL in Canada on 17:31 May 17
After all the angst re our family situation, I just seem to have nothing much left to me re hs'ing. I know many people have said that's understandable, given the past couple of years we have experienced, but it goes beyond those parametres. The anticipation I had re the high school years has not come to fruition, and the more I read of others' children and their focus, goals, and accomplishments, the more discouraged I grow. Yes, I know we are not called to compare our children to others', but honestly, it is virutally impossible to scan this board without noticing what others are doing, and how far short I/ my children fall. Extracurriculars, SATs, CC courses.... I feel like someone who has just missed the train and is watching it hurtle away down the tracks without me.Here's where I stand (forlornly waving good-bye to the caboose....):
1) Son #1, 17, essentially took this semester off following the death of his father/ my estranged husband. What he did do: Consumer Math; homeschool choir; drama (directing the homeschool play this year, rather than performing as he previously has done, because they could not find a director outside the group). He also has a part-time job, working around 5-10 hours /wk, and does a couple of hours of handyman-type volunteer work a week at a Christian missions organization. He has no ( zilch, nada) aspirations re college/university , claiming to hate math, science, literature, history.... His view: chuck schoolwork, keep working part-time and gliding aloing through life, just making enough $$ to pay for gas so he can travel and visit his friends, all of whom live some distance away and somehow always needs rides. My view: finish high school credits next semester OR work full-time. But how do I *make* him do one or the other?
2) Son #2, 15: Has been plugging away through gr 9 this year, though we essentially dropped history and lit second term. He does not want to attend school, and has vague aspirations re university, but no sense yet of what he would want to study/ pursue. He's a good student overall--writes well, generally gets math, etc--but again, has no real interest in any academic subject--nothing we can "gear" him towards. His current focus is karate--he works part-time as a junior instructor at his school--but it isn't a "passion" in a grand sense.
3) Son #3, 12: finishing up gr 7; has difficutlies with math but writes well. However, he complains about any sort of correction or guidance in his work and seems to be falling into the same pattern as son #1, claiming he just "isn't good at" doing certain work, etc. No favourite academic subject either; but also does not want to attend school. Also involved in karate but again, although he is very good at it, it's not a passion that will lead to a career in that line of work.
4) Son #4, 8, is the only one who still shows some enthusiasm for learning, but even he has begun to *sigh* when given certain work to do (where else have I heard *that*??) He can read at grade level but almost never wants to read anything on his own. I have to admit I haven't done the greatest job with him; for eg, we did a world geog survey this year, but basically stuck to reading books; didn't do a single hands-on project or craft because *I* didn't want to. Humph.
Ladies, what have I done wrong here? How did I produce at least three students who don't enjoy *anything* academic? Who hardly read on their own time? Who can't discuss any subject area--lit, history, Bible, etc--beyond, "Yeah, I guess so" or "I don't know." Is there any way of getting back on track next year so that at least the three youngest ones still can emerge as homeschool graduates who can at *least* measure up to their public school counterparts? I have been so discouraged by their own lack of interest that I feel as though I just want to throw in the towel. The years I put in (this is my twelfth year hs'ing) seem to have been to little purpose and there is so little satisfaction in the results. Pouring one's time and energy and self into hs'ing, only to have one's oldest reject education as "useless" is for me (an INFJ) like a blow to the heart so powerful as almost to be felt physically.If there's any way I can avoid having my other sons react similarly, please, tell me how! But if it's all just the luck of the draw...well, then, I'm not sure I should be in this business , or on this board, anymore. It's just becoming too hard.
So...to quit, or not to quit? That is the question....