[ High School and Self-Education Board ]
Posted by Carrie in NC on 6:58 Sep 16
In Reply to: Neither of my girls have that much time to just 'chit-chat' on the pc. (m)... posted by Anna
we have a history of mutual respect and I hope you will hear my real voice! I am not trying to be argumentative, really!
You said you don't want your girls spending hours and hours playing on the computer. Is this because you don't want your girls to have hours and hours of free time, or because you see computer time as inferior to other free time activites? This is an important distinction for me.
In several important areas of my life, I have been asking "Why" I believe certain things. Mostly I find I have believed the most convincing arguer of the position or I've believed the "general consensus" of my peer group, and I haven't really delved into the facts myself. I stepped back in several key areas of my life and ended up changing my mind. When I stopped being afraid of questioning assumptions, I found things were very different than I often suppose. My spiritual journey is one area like that, homeschooling another, and parenting yet another.
One of the things I questions was why the prejudice against computer time in the homeschooling community. I stepped back and tried to see what was bad about it and why I felt that way. What I found was that I had been conditioned by others to feel computer time was a worse way to spend time than other leisure activites.
The questions I asked myself were:
Is time spent on cumputer games inherently worse than time spent on board games (especially since my kids play interactive games with other real people)? Studies show computer gaming is a good or better at teaching strategies, logic, spacial reasoning and other important skills.
Aside from some physical acitvity, is time spent on the computer- gaming or writing or otherwise- of less value than sports? Studies have shown that hand-eye corodination is developed equally well by both activities, and that computer gaming can raise certain IQ test scores.
Is IMing or emailing or reading a friends blog inferior to phone conversations, or kids hanging out in a room together talkng? Is more time "wasted" this way? Again, while I encourage my kids to see people person-to-person (and provide lots of opportuinity for that) I see no difference!
Lastly, what am I protecting them from? I am raising them to be independent adults, they need to learn about the problems out there and how to handle them If I can't let my 15 and 17 yr olds on the computer without me hanging over them or reading every word they type, something has gone wrong in my parenting plan.
My kids are already going off to college. If they live away from home, who is going to be monitoring all their activites? I'd rather know they are ready to take the resposibilites on themselves. Going to college means a lot more than just being prepared academically. I've heard too many stories of kids gone wild when out from under parent's watchful eyes. I want to trust my kids now, not just in the future.
So we talk about the dangers online. And really, do I think my kids are going to agree to meet someone they met online without telling me? ;-) My kdis are savvy. They use screen names and don't give out personal information. They read lots of other people's blogs and we discuss the good and the bad. They're learning decernment and critical thinking skills.
I no longer see computers and the internet as enemies, as dangerous or as a waste of time. It has opened incredible things to my kids and to me! I have many dear friends (most I've actually traveled to meet in person) that I've met via the internet. These friends are a close and as real and as dear to me as my irl friends. (I'm just so sad I never got to meet Devin.) Perhaps because the internet is an integral part of my own life I see it as a great tool- like so many other tools we have as parents and homeschoolers.
Hey...and my dd met her fiancee on the internet. ;-) He now lives with us (sharing a room with my boys) and is a wonderful young man. I think meeting potential spouses on the internet is going to get more and more common, too.
Most people on the internet are just people, like everywhere else. I think you can use common sense and have a wonderful time. Yes, there is some bad stuff and some danger, but there is bad stuff and danger in other activites, too. A lot more kids are abused by child care workers, family members or coaches than predators from the internet. I say, give them the tools to use the internet safely, and give them some freedom to make their mistakes while their still at home.
Of course, if kids don't ahve interest in "all things computer"...that's great, too! I just happen to have a family of gamers and computer geeks!
Just another two cents! ;-)
Carrie